Leaning in

 

 

Move closer, lean in, get curious; even for a moment, experience the feelings without labels, beyond being good or bad. Welcome them. Invite them. Do anything that helps melt the resistance.   

-Pema Chödrön

Here’s the truth; life is pretty difficult right now. One challenge after another presents itself, and I’m struggling with the sky-high anxiety I’ve experienced as a result.

Job stress, home stress, life stress, career (what is that anyway?) stress, will-I-ever-fulfil-my-purpose-stress.

Yes, those have all happened recently, and now I’m back at job stress. Uncertainty over rules, regulations and how long I will be in my job for.

I’ve been meaning to get the hell outta here, run away, give up and escape, anything-but-this, go live as a nomad somewhere. Sounds good to me.

I’m pretty good at convincing myself that escape is the only solution. Yet, the wisdom that is a barely audible whisper compared to my screaming inner critic, says that to develop strength and resilience, independence and stamina, to figure out what this life is all about, I must stay. Stay, learn from the experience and come out stronger.

Hardship sucks. But in the face of all this, messages of “lean in” come along*, reminding me that running from these feelings won’t solve anything. They’ll most likely pack themselves in my bag, putting themselves on the list of essential items. Thanks dad for the awesome analogy!

Avoiding these feelings, running away from struggle, will only make things more difficult. If I pretend that things are easy peasy, refuse to listen to the voice of wisdom that says “slow-the-f*%* down and rest”, I will run myself into the ground and it will be a mighty endeavour to pick myself up again.

In the interest of developing confidence and trust in my inner wisdom, I’m going to listen. Listen carefully. The Universe is conspiring along with me, as from my recent note:

Those little things that you alone see, Linda, aren't by chance. The sign, the squirrel, the dragonfly; the whisper, the song, the lily. It's me. I'm always with you. I'll do anything to reach you -- to give you hope, keep you on track, answer your questions. Look even closer,    The Universe

If you’re interested in your own Notes from the Universe, sign up here. Lovely messages, delivered to your inbox.

and another:

When you tough it out, hold the line, and stay the course, Linda, I promise you there will soon come a day when you look back over your shoulder, shake your head in dismay, and seriously wonder what all the fuss was about. Just like all the other times,    The Universe

And so, I lean in. Be with the discomfort, aware of my tiredness, fatigue, exhaustion and I execute a most divine self-care plan. Plenty of crochet, reading, journalling, photo-taking, and sleep.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’” – Eleanor Roosevelt

(borrowed from Sandra Pawula’s excellent collection)

 

-I believe in you all

Linda

*I'm not a Christian, but the message conveyed here is still a good one.

 

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